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October 27 3 rd Yr First Sem Final Time really does flies, just a few months and I have finish my third yr 1st sem. Next week is going to be finals and then we have 1 month plus holidays and start again with second sem. Sometimes I just wonder , how can I make it so far and where I want to be next few years. It;s amazing for me that I can come so far and went into university. Never in my life, I thought of studying in the university, i build my dreams base on colleges and so forth... Now that I am here, I wanted more. There is so much more that I want that I have to choose which one should be my first privilege. Hopefully I can do all I wanted and be somewhere I dream of myself becoming...
( Wish my luck ...) May 15 The meaning of Gratitude and AppreciationToday I am pretty exhausted because I spend some time teaching my little brother, and I realize, it is so hard to focus all my energy on my brother. I mean I have to sacrifices a lot and for that I know that to handle one child is hard enough, and to handle a classroom of children is even tougher. Although I am not feeling very well, I try very hard to hide it because I don’t want my parents to worry about me. I know I can take care of myself. While I was teaching, I realize it so exhausting to actually teach and make sure my brother is learning, and I agreed that it is impossible for me to do it alone. I need someone to help me, and of course I will be tired out if it all depends on me. Then again, I hope that while I was teaching my brother he give his fullest attention and put his heart at learning. I knew learning can be very routine and boring, but somehow that’s the price he needs to pay for success. Hard but I know it is possible. I so hope that it isn’t just depends on me, he have to make the effort too… “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear” I so hope that phrase holds some certain degrees of truth.
That’s all for what happen today. Let’s continue with my second story, this is the story that makes me realize the importance of parent love… I was almost close to tears when I heard it through my ears and heart.
A bowl of mee ( This is the second story) There was once a single mother and her daughter. The family was poor, and so the mother worked hard to give her best to the only daughter. At some point, the mother was very closed with her daughter, until the day the daughter grew up, reaches adolescent and have a her mind of her own. Well, it is normal for mother and daughter to argue because of the divergent opinions due to different life phases. And so one day, there happen to be a big argument between them.
Mother: So what, I raise you and you have to obey me. Daughter: Fine, you never try to reason with me. I am leaving now. Mother: GO ahead, if you DARE! Daughter: I WILL! Mother: If you dare step a foot outside the house, don’t expect to be coming in this home ever again! Daughter: Fine! I can live without you.
And so, the daughter leaves the house, and swears never to return. Unfortunely, she had no money with her and that it makes even harder to survive in the streets. She wandered along the neighborhood and town. She did not realize that it was approaching night, and she come across a night market. She was hungry, and she had no money to buy any food, she could only stare. She passed by a hawker who sold noodles. She felt so helpless, hungry, and tired. But there is nothing she can do, she would not beg for food. However, life is kind to us. The hawker uncle notices about her, and he offered a bowl of noodle.
Hawker: Hey little girl, what are you looking at, come here. If you are hungry, I prepare a bowl of noodle for you. Daughter: But I had no money with me, I can’t pay you. Hawker: Don’t worry. You don have to pay me. I treat you this time, you are my loyal customer. Here, one hot bowl of me. Eat now. Daughter: Thanks…
The daughter was so hungry, and she finished the bowl of noodles. Every single strand of noodles and the soup, the bowl was cleaned. Suddenly she cried: Hawker: Why are you crying? Daughter: I cried because I was overwhelmed and touched by your kindness, you never asked anything from me and offered me food when I need it. Thank you very much. Hawker: You cried because you are overwhelmed by just a bowl of mee. Well little girl, your mother has feed for so long, and did you ever felt overwhelmed and touched by it what she has given you.
At the spur of moment, the daughter realized her mistakes. She puts the chopsticks down and rush directly back to her home. She hugs her mother and apologized to her mother her mistakes.
Dear friends, I guess that’s the value of love. It is true that we take granted for what our parents have given us sometimes. Perhaps now is the time to appreciate every single thing that did for us. A bowl of mee can means so much to the daughter, and a single thank you can brings wonders of appreciation, gratitude, honor and love to the people around us. Let’s be grateful what they have given us. Honor. Gratitude. AppreciationFor the last few days I have spent my days with my ING family members. I was hesitated to go, because I know my heart was not there. However, I did go in the end because I know there is no way I can say no and I did it because of my love for my parents. I kept comforting myself and tell myself that I will learn something every time I attend a convention.
The theme of the convention is Honor, Gratitude and Appreciation, a loving theme for this year convention as well as in line with the week of Mother’s Day, the day for appreciation for mothers and fathers love.
The first person or so the speakers for the convention is a monk from Taiwan, he is Reverand Hui Hai. I learn three important lessons from him that will change my life as well as others who I had the chance to share this stories with.
Firstly was the story of an egg: In temple, the adult monks strive to teach the young the value of a life. These adults had figure out the way to depart this important lesson to the young, and so they come out with the idea of an egg. They call all the young to gather together and they give each of the young monks an egg. They need to take careful care of the egg, and that the end of the 3 days, the egg is still in it good shape. They were given a waist band that is specially made to contain the egg. For all 3 days they need to tied the waist band to their waist and carry the egg on their waist just like how our mothers have carried us in their stomach for 9 full months. So the lesson started, the male young monks always carried the waist band away from their stomach when they are doing rough activities, and so the elder monk that the only way to learn is to let the waist band stick near to the stomach, and they need to do their best to take the utmost care for the egg. And so, the male monks try very hard to does that. At the end of the 3 days, each of the young monks to take out the egg from the container and showed it to the elders. Unfortunately, some of the young male monks have broken the egg. They cried and asked for a second chance. However the monk said: I am sorry; but there is no second chance in life. Life cannot be given, once it is gone, it is the end. The little monks cried for a few days, and so the elders decide to give them another chance to carry the egg. Again, they still broke the egg. Subsequently the elders’ monk found out that, female are better in taking care of the egg, none of the female young nuns broke the egg. They believe the females have the inborn ability to care for babies and so they have no problem carrying the egg. But yet, the some male monks broke the eggs, although they are not careful, the find out that male monks are very passionate over the egg, because they cried for a few days for their inability to care for the egg. And so the lesson I learnt was that Life is just once. Life cannot be given. Life is valuable. And that our mothers have worked so hard to keep us alive with the utmost care and attention not to hurt us. And that nine months labour is not comparable to what the material things we can give to them. We can only to remember to honor, and showed appreciation for their sacrifice and be gratitude always for those who had helped us.
With that, I end my blog today, I will write the other 2 stories later. Keep waiting. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers and I love you all.
If you all see this blog, please tell on behalf of me, tell your mother and my mothers that I love them and I thank them with all my heart. April 14 Hmmm... what I really wantI wake up today, and wanted to finish reading, but I failed and so what, I don;t blame it cause "none of us can help the things life has done to us.They're done before you realize it, and once they're done they make you do other things until at last everything comes between you and what you'd like to be, and you have lost your true self forever" Eugene O' Neil.
It so true that almost everyday I lost track what I want in life..Things I forget, things that I have to give up, things that I regrets and things that I can't help doing. Then it comes to you how so much you want to change the things, and yet there is nothing much you can do to change what it is done, and that changes have change who you are.
It leaves a mark in you that you find it hard to change back to who you are, you are confused but you recent to follow things as it is.
Life is never fair, how can life be fair when everyone is different ??
God made us so different in that we help to fulfill the part we are not perfect with.
People often compared.. with only to satisfy themselves and make others feel the less worthy.
AND< i hate it when i sense someone doing that, for I despise them.
June 29 Turning 21Turning 21People say 21 is the age where you grow up and have many more responsibilities, Some say growing a year older is frustrating, But there's something good about 21, You can do the things you were not allowed to before 21, You are treated as an adult, You learn what it's like to be an adult, But the best thing about 21 is not the freedom, It's about knowing the sweetness of the people who love you, Knowing that your parents are trying so hard to let you spread your wings and fly and yet adore you, Knowing that no matter how old you are,you are always near God It isn't so bad after all........ June 26 Reflection~Yesterday I went to Tanjung Sepat with my parents for some sea food. On our way back we take a walk near the Morib. It's a beach~~it was windy the breeze was cooling and refreshing... and I saw paretns and kids playing with the water .. building sand castle, flying kites and swmming and splashing the water...
It make me realize how lucky I am when I am young...
I almost forget I went to Port DIckson, Cameron Highland, Langkawi, Phuket, Tioman, Genting Highland... Taman Negar when I'm young. My parents do send some time taking holidyas and spend it with their children... I almost forget about all that~~
The only thing that come across my mind was work hard when I graduate... for 10 years ... then after that I can spend most of my time with my kids.
I told that. . . when it's our time to be parents... I told DAD " you know.. when I am a parent and you are a grandafather, I guess...you have to bring our kids out .. so that they are not deprived of exposure to the nature beauty~~
where will I be?? I wonder~~ June 23 Passion for somethingHave you ever have some passion and faith for something, I believe everyone does, every one wanted to make some difference for life, things that touches life of others, by the time you leave the world you want to have leave something that people remember who you are.
I seen alot of parents who worked very hard just to provide the best for their kids, and sometimes accidents happen.
I heard from one of my family collegues, who their mother works her best to provide the education fees for the son from Australia (didn'tquite remember) Though her mother wishes her son to be a doctor, but things just don't turn out the way to be.
The son came back for holidays for a week in Malaysia, and in the weeks, a car accident happen, and the son was gone forever, he have only 1 more years of study before he graduate to become a legally doctor. Yet, luck wasn't on his side.
I think the worst lost was to the mother, it was never nice... it was so terrifying and heartbreaking.
Her son, her dreams of looking his son to be a successful doctor, all shattered and gone to the grave with his son.
We might as well appreciated the people around us, we never know when, but we KNOW we can at least appreciate and care for them now. Today I find some interesting things ....Today I find some interesting things when I was packing and organizing my stuff inmy cupboard. This idea just come across me to make writting journal, and my childhood memoirs as part of my life and lifetime passion and my hobby.. I am sure that another 20 years down the road, there still more adventure in my life.
So let me just fill you in with some of the beautiful things I wrote last 3 years, it was just part of the essay... Here how it goes.. you guys figure out the stories itself.
Here is the start of another part of my tory telling. Today my mother was a professional insurance agent. having been in the business for more than 5 years she is a successful career woman, my mother have to leave the house almost the whole day because her job requires it including my father. Both of them arealways outside the house, so I'm left with a whole lot of house hold chores from cleaning the whole house to preparing the meal of the days, not to mention keeping in track with my siblings activities. This is what I call BIG responsibility. With the great numbers of chores devoted to me to be finish, I grew feeling so fed up with it, I started to complainng and think it is unfair to me. Plus in my school homework and study to keep up with my grades, it was hell to me. It was so tiring. You feel heartbreaking when your siblings refused to lend a hand.
You fell more like a maid to the famil y. The one thing I dislikes most being the eldest in the family, you are to be blamed when you brothers and sister pull off something wrong. You are accused of not coaching them properly adn showing immoral examplaes to them, but as long as I bear in mind, I had showed a very good example. My grades are good, I'm independent, and I can run the household chores, I cannot figure out where went wrong. These are the times where tears were my best friend.
Every night I cry myself to sleep, I suffered; I'm exhausted and stress out because exams and household chores altogether make me feels sick. Each time, telling and assuring myself to do better next time and trust GOD because I believe "mistakes are lessons of wisdoms" Hugh White and " the years teach much which the days never know" Ralph Waldo Emerson. Enough of the bad remarks. As an added bonus, being eldest also creates something unique in you. The hardship and endurance that you encounter everyday will coincindently become a loyal teacher to you. It trains you to be self-governing, tough, be proud of yourselves and well prepared for what lies ahead. This is one in a thousand of opportunity no others teenagers will acquire. Although there is, there may be far and few. Well, if you are able to perform the household chores without much difficulty, and if you are a female; I guarantee you will be an excellent housewife if you are wedded in the future and do not forget that's an honor for you in life. It is as well as a gift bestowed on you from GOD.
Well now did you get my point. it doesn't mean having younger brothers and sisters a burden. When you are young it is a blessing, when you are older it may become a burden but as the years pass by, you will find the weight behind your back has become lighter over the years and later gone. The heaviness has vanished because our siblings are fully grown and we are not required anymore. At the moment I hereby define having siblings significantly having a lot of blessings from GOD and the experience is one precious piece of lesson in life.
The End.
SO was it ?? Do you thinks it's beautiful.. I think..
I do THINK it was beautifu.  June 11 When u are lost yourself~~I had something to say all this while, people can be optimistic, and yes, everyone have a dream, and sometimes in the midst of all these beautiful dream, we may sometimes lost focus of ourselves.
When we are young, we are told by our parents to asks us what we want in our life, what is our dream , and asked us to go for our dreams, and I notice in the midst of working towards our dreams, minds changes, people changes, because the environment requires us to change, and sometimes we human have to be realistic and give everything a try and open our eyes wide big.
SOmetimes I wonder what school is for, what is the purpose of school , to educate us to be somebody and be a person who gives back to community. That's the problem of our school system, how come they never gives us the necessary knowledges to become millionaires or entreprenaur, why we are always only somebody average and not the famous and popular.
How come we are train to be some profesional who never get to earn millions in a day...
We were stop at where we are.. and that;s reality. Opportunities are everywhere, we want to be better and better, we want to help ppl and everyone around us to be successful , yet we ignore the facts and ignore the reality, it's sad to see that everyone ignore the opportunities that come around us.
Perhaps that is best part to motivate our life, make a difference for our selves, make some big changes.
Give everything around a try and a look
Make ur plans and decision
Start small but never lost the big picture
Always make sure you give ur best and help those besides u to reach their dreams
Always have a back up plans
Most importantly ... remember that you were there before, and you should be grateful and always be humble.
Make changes. Make it happen today.
May 03 A walk to rememberWell, it's been such a long time I decide to write something.
A walk to remember... yes, in life, we always reach the destination , but the most amazing things is the journey. The journey that makes you a better person. We meet new friends, new things and new experiences.
It so happen all these things were only there for a time, and when's the time, it will leave us, because these friends and things come into our life for a reason, and so when the reason is served, they will be gone...
So taking a walk in life is a beautiful things to do. Because you realize you have learnt so many things, things that you are grateful happening to you,because it makes you happy.
For that reason, no matter there is sad or bad things/ up and downs in whatever situation whether it is with a best friend, family or a loved ones...you still want to cherish them for the reason they have made a difference in your life.It's these people who make the journey in the life worthwhile, and happiness comes from these ups and down. Most importantly these peoples, your family, friends and loved ones knows that you cared for them. Remember no matter what happen, their happiness is your happiness. Make life worth it~~
April 24 CryI notice one of the hardest thing in life is the feeling of wanting to cry. The feelings is there in the heart but it's just don't come in form of tears in the eye. If it was tears in the eye, then everything would be better. It is the feelings of loss and uncertainity that makes the heart sorrow and feeling unpleasant. You wanted to shout , to scream, to let go whatever that is stuck in your heart. You want to let everything out, break the wall that surrounds this unpleasaat feelings that is killing you from inside, and to last resort to cry it all out. You don't want to know whether you are right or wrong, you don't even care what people think about because you want to breakaway from the jail that keeps you from doing your best. There is the time to come to break out, to breakaway, to soar, to strive, to fly and to reach for the stas, the sky : My Dreams I will be better... even though it means killing me from inside~~ I will find ways to break the wall. I will DO it. . . and let Time be my witness~~ and God as the judges~~
March 04 .... Friendship on fireCan anyone exactly know what the meaning of friends? What is friendship anyway…? I have always wondered. To me … there is one saying that says that love is friendship on fire Would we dare do something that is wrong and yet trust our own heart for our own heart think it is the best. I wondered if I would fare as a better friend or sister. Perhaps due to my wits, or sarcastic laugh and attitude, people might think I’m doing the wrong things. What if I would want to experiences it. To have gone on an adventure once it comes across my life. You can say I love myself too much making it hard for other to enter my life. I mean they have to work a little harder to know me better, I would really like to know if I ever be as warm hearted as I was before. God knows, please help me. Let me have the courage to do what my heart desire. Perhaps just let those who are dear and adores me acknowledged the truth that I will always be there for them. No matter good or bad times~~ I’m here!! |
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